Author: Mariya Klachynska
Article:
Ukrainian tradition to give a pumpkin to the loser guys is
almost gone in today's times. So if a modern Ukrainian boy
proposes marriage to a girl, he usually buys her a ring as is
done in the rest of the world. But the saying "to get a pumpkin"
is still very popular in Ukraine. This phrase usually means that
somebody has said "no" to you in a very important business
matter.
So, why is the pumpkin in Ukraine not a good sign for men?
It was a very old tradition, still from medieval times that when
a Ukrainian young man wanted to marry a girl, he did not buy her
a ring and he did not ask her somewhere in a romantic place,
"Will you marry me?" No, he had to find two special people (from
his relatives or friends) and he went with these people to the
house of the girl or woman that he wanted to marry and a
different method was used to ask her hand in marriage.
Ukrainians call these two special people Starosty or Svaty.
Starosty must be wise people and preferably with a good sense of
humor because they will make a special speech to the parents of
the future bride. Usually Starosty (Svaty) were chosen from men,
and not very often from women.
So, Starosty and the potential fiancé came to the girl's
parents and gave a special speech. In the end of this speech
they asked the parents to allow their daughter to be a wife of
this young man. But the parents usually answered, "We need to
ask the opinion of our daughter, to find out what does she
thinks". And the next event is very important! The girl stays
silent, and if she wants to marry this man, she ties a
ceremonial embroidered towel over the shoulder of each of the
Starosty. She also ties a nice shawl on the hand of the young
man. All these actions mean just one word, "Yes!"
But if it is "No", then the Starosty get nothing and the young
man receives a pumpkin from the girl! This is her way of saying
she does not want to marry this man.
In the old days it was a shame for a Ukrainian man to get a
pumpkin instead of a shawl. In the people's opinion, he was not
a very good boy if a girl did not want to marry him, especially
if he got more pumpkins from other girls.
Parents who had very pretty daughters needed to have a lot of
pumpkins, because a pretty girl has many offers of marriage. So
people were usually joking to the parents of the nice girl, "Oh,
you need to grow a big garden of pumpkins!"
This <a target="_new"
href="http://www.travelwestukraine.com/">Ukrainian tradition</a>
(to give a pumpkin to the loser guys) is almost gone in today's
times. So if a modern Ukrainian boy proposes marriage to a girl,
he usually buys her a ring as is done in the rest of the world.
But the saying "to get a pumpkin" is still very popular in
Ukraine. This phrase usually means that somebody has said "no"
to you in a very important business matter. Also, if <a
target="_new"
href="http://www.travelwestukraine.com/">Ukrainians</a> say
about some man, "He got a pumpkin from his girlfriend," it means
the same as it did several centuries ago. It means, "She did not
want to marry him."
P.S. The Ukrainian name for pumpkin is harbuz.
More about Ukrainian life, culture, customs and traditions you
can find on <a target="_new"
href="http://www.travelwestukraine.com/">Travel West Ukraine</a>
About the author:
Mariya Klachynska is a freelance journalist. She worked for the
local Ukrainian newspapers and online news agencies for more
than 20 years (since 1984). Her hobby is matchmaking. With help
of online dating agency Mariya found a husbands for two her
friends-journalists. Mariya is married. She met her husband in
Internet too.
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