By Danny R. Smith
Your instincts tell you he’s cheating. Your girlfriends say
confront him, follow him, check his phone and email; threaten
him with physical violence . . . Okay, skip the violence unless
your calendar is open for the next few years. Forget trying to
follow him yourself, but do check his cell phone records and
email. (Doing your own surveillance is rarely successful and
more often tips him to your suspicion.)
It’s really about opportunity. If you narrow your focus to the
mostly likely times of opportunity, you’ll be more likely to
find the evidence to back up your instincts. Also, if you’ve
decided to hire a private investigator, you can save yourself a
lot of money by targeting these highly suspicious times of
opportunity. Here are some of the more common cover stories of
cheaters:
“I have to go out of town on business.”
©This is a great opportunity for all the obvious reasons and
should certainly be a time you consider deploying surveillance.
If that isn’t an option, make notes of this time period and be
sure to study phone records when you receive your next bill.
Look at calls before, during and after the trip. Check phone
numbers on Google; you may be surprised how many phone numbers
will show up in a search as they’ve been listed on websites such
as Linked In, Manta, etc. Remember, if you are unable to
identify the owner of a phone number, a private investigator may
still be able to.
“Honey, I’m headed to the gym.”
©This is a great opportunity for one simple reason: he or she
can return home showered—meaning their bodies are void of
incriminating scents and other evidence without raising a lot of
suspicion. They may also feel empowered by being able to look
you in the eyes and say they had a great workout; maybe they
did!
“I’m working late tonight.”
©We all know the dangers of workplace romances, but the
question is whether your significant other is really working
late at the office or has he or she slipped off for a little
fling? Time it and call an hour later. Is he still in the
office? Is he answering his cell phone? If not, is there a
legitimate reason why? If you suspect something is going on,
this is another great time for surveillance. Other
considerations would be monitoring his odometer to see if the
miles add up to his commute, or placing a tracking device on his
vehicle. Most private investigators can provide this service.
Some people have businesses where they can actually have their
affair at their place of employment! This is a whole other
challenge but depending on the circumstances of your case, a
competent investigator should have several suggestions.
“We’re going fishing . . .”
©Hunting, hiking and fishing trips can be a great cover for a
weekend with the other man or woman. For one, oftentimes the
trip is planned for an area where cell phone service is
unavailable. This allows them to turn off the phone and not
worry about having to lie to you all weekend. Again,
surveillance would be best. Check the odometer and ask plenty of
questions. What about photos? Didn’t he take some pictures?
Wouldn’t most people have a digital camera in their pack for
their prize catch or that beautiful view?
“My girlfriend, Amanda . . .”
©Let me pick on the girls here a bit. I’ve seen more than a
couple flings of women where their cover story is simply their
girlfriend. If the “Girls Night Out” evenings or weekends are
too common, pay attention. The mention of a Tupperware party
makes a man’s eyes glaze; what a perfect cover story that could
be! If they leave you with the remote, a pizza and plenty of
beer, either be suspicious or thankful!
As a final note let me say this: Sometimes your instincts are
wrong! I have worked a few cases where after a couple nights of
surveillance I’ve been convinced the alleged cheater isn’t that
at all. Maybe insecurities are causing false suspicions, or
maybe you are unfairly judging your guy by your last guy or
other men. Having said that, I’ve found that in those instances,
the client thought the knowledge I provided was a worthy
investment for their peace of mind. But if you’re going to rely
on an investigator’s report and opinion in this regard, make
sure you’ve hired a reputable, competent and reliable
investigator.
About the Author: Danny R. Smith, a retired homicide detective
from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, is the founder
of DRS Investigations, LLC, a full-service private investigation
firm in Boise, Idaho. http://www.drsinvestigations.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=247988&ca=Cheating
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